I’m guessing that every mother wants to be considered a great mommy . . . I know I do. I try to do all sorts of things to keep my great mommy status – crafts, games, play activities, adventures, cooking, etc. But sometimes God has to remind me that no matter what fun things I do with Becca “Mommy is weak, but Jesus is strong.”

It was a day last week, Becca and I had spent the morning doing “fun” things – baking, having a pretend picnic in her room, playing; we even had a special dessert at lunch. Then came nap time. This particular afternoon I was exhausted and could hardly keep my head up as I waited for Becca to fall to sleep. However, Becca had no plans on napping (in Becca’s words: “Becca NOT go to sleep!”) . . . she kept calling me for things. A few times when I responded to her call, she stared blankly at me and had to think of some reason she “needed mommy.” This was rather frustrating, since I had to drag myself off the couch every time Becca called (somehow Becca knew to call when I was just falling asleep). The last time Becca called I had had enough. I went charging into her room to deal with another false potty alarm. Right before I went into Becca’s room, I felt like I should pray for grace and patience, but I ignored that urging and ended up speaking very impatiently to Becca. Then I cried. I cried because all those nice mommy activities didn’t make me a more gracious and patient mother. I cried because I should have stopped and prayed for help before I went in to deal with Becca. I cried because I saw the evidence of my sin and my need for Jesus.

Becca was particularly worried that my shirt was getting wet and that mommy was crying. After I asked her forgiveness and explained that Mommy had disobeyed God, I told Becca she needed to stay in bed 15 more minutes while I went out and asked God for help. Becca later told me that evening that Mommy needed God and Jesus to help her.

One of Becca’s favorite bedtime songs is Jesus Loves Me. I probably sing it 5+ times over the course of the night (sometimes at 3AM). One thing Becca likes to do is put her name and other’s names in place of “me”. . . the Bible tells Becca so, and Mommy so, and Daddy so, and Little Brother so, and Flopsie so, and Naaman so. As a reminder to me and Becca that Mommy needs Jesus, I’ve started singing, Mommy is weak, but Jesus is strong. I as a mommy am weak and need the strength of Jesus to minister grace to my little girl. I can’t do it myself. Sure – I can do fun things with Becca, but in myself I am nothing if I do not rely on the strength of Christ as I strive to lead my little girl toward the Savior. Praise God that Mommy is weak, but Jesus is strong.

Little Brother Update

Last Wednesday (2/15/12) I had another ultrasound to check on Little Brother’s progress. So far all looks normal. I asked the technician to measure the amniotic fluid – Little Brother’s amniotic fluid measured at about 16cm in diameter (Becca’s was 2.5cm around the same time). Things are looking good. My doctor says she’ll feel better after I make it another month. We’re thanking God for a healthy baby.

(Note for busy people –  this is long, but the pictures speak for themselves . . . the text just adds the extra details.)

I decided to turn the whole month of February (minus the 1st and 2nd) into a Valentine’s celebration. This post will include some of the activities we’ve done this month.

Becca and I have done a variety of Valentine’s Day crafts. I found a neat website that gave patterns for animals all out of heart shapes. (Note – the giraffe is not heart-shaped . . . Becca wanted a giraffe, so I had to freehand it.) Another “craft” we did was Valentine’s Day was spritz cookies. Great Grandma Sutter gave us the press and it was perfect for Becca to use “1 click – 2 click – up.” We made mint pink heart cookies and painted them with chocolate. [Yummy! -jj]

Daddy Daughter Date (2/4/2012)

Chick-fil-A had a wonderful Daddy Daughter Date night. We decided that Becca and Josh would go. I made a big deal about it with Becca – we even got a new dress at Goodwill for the event. We were so impressed with how they ran the entire event. Tables and times had to be reserved. There was a live piano player. Roses were provided for the daddies to give to their daughters. There was a balloon man who could create just about anything (even a Flopsie). Gifts were given to all the girls. Becca was a little unsure about going on a Daddy Daughter date without Mommy, but once she got there she was so excited. She sat down at the table and shook with excitement. Her favorite part was the “BIG Cow – not a little cow” with pajamas and a hat on. [Sometimes she refers to this event as the Becca-Daughter Date Night. -jj]

Miss Jean for Lunch (2/10/12)

Becca and I had Jean Wood over for lunch on Friday. We had a good time of fellowship.

Couples Dinner (2/10/12)

Friday we had Parke and Lynnelle Brown and René, Yani, and Amaris over for dinner. The afternoon before they came I decided to decorate the table for Valentine’s Day. It started with having a special table with gifts for the girls, and then I decided to include the adults (minus the gifts!). During my “nap time” I got the idea to have a centerpiece with little hearts, each with a question for people to answer. I wasn’t sure what Josh would think of the idea . . . but he thought it was great. We had a delightful evening sharing all sorts of things. (The dessert was made by Lynnelle.) Josh later called the evening a mini couples banquet.

Daddy Mommy Date (2/11/12)

Josh and I celebrated Valentine’s Day Saturday evening. Josh made me a delicious meal and we enjoyed the evening at home. Eating at home with Josh’s cooking is my absolutely favorite “going out” experience. There is no restaurant I enjoy better – perfect food and perfect atmosphere. I also included conversation hearts for our meal with conversation topics on our marriage, etc. I am blessed to be married to a man who loves me very much.

Sunday & Monday Activities (2/12-13/12)

Since we had leftover lasagna from Friday night, we invited our neighbors (who live in the building across from us) David, Violet, and Riley over for dinner Sunday night. Becca and I had visited with Violet and Riley last Monday to deliver our Valentine cookies. Riley is exactly one year younger than Becca and they enjoyed interacting with one another. Violet has her Ph.D in analytical chemistry and David is working on completing his Ph.D in (some other branch of) chemistry. When they had left for the evening, we saw that it was snowing!

Monday, Becca and I went to spend the day with Amaris. Yani is working on completing a correspondence course and we spent several hours at their home playing with Amaris so Yani could work on her projects without interruptions. The girls had fun and we made giraffe puppets.

Family Valentine’s Day Party (2/14/12)

Tuesday night we celebrated V-day as a family. We made heartshaped pizza and Becca and I made strawberry cupcakes for dessert. We decorated our table similar to Friday night’s table. After our meal we danced to The Bare Necessities (Becca’s request – not that her parents were opposed) and played mancala. Part of our party also included a special V-day package from cousin Colette, and Valentine’s pj’s from Great Aunt Susan.

After all the partying (2/14/2012 – 2/15/2012)

Unfortunately, Becca ended up getting sick later in the evening and threw up several times from 9 to 11 (even Mommy needed a shower) and again at 4AM. Wednesday she still had a sensitive tummy, but was doing much better. [That was written before Mommy went to teach piano lessons at 5. Around 5:30 there were some additional problems, but things seem to be improving again. -jj] A BIG thank you to Josh who did a lot of clean up and running loads over to the laundry room while I took care of Becca – I married a winner! [And a BIG thanks to Amy, who did a lot of disgusting things, too. Glad I also got a winner! -jj]  Becca got to give Flopsie a bath (needed!). If you’ve been following the dates on this post, you’ll realize that since Friday, we’ve had very busy days (add in cooking for most of the day Thursday 2/9). I’m officially worn out and am looking forward to a quiet Friday . . . a full day of sleeping . . . ummmm, yeah right! Love being a wife and mommy!

Today marks the 2-year anniversary of Becca coming home from the hospital. Two years ago, we finally got to bring our precious little girl home after 76 day in the NICU. We are so grateful for the ways the Lord protected Becca’s life. We are so grateful for the little gift God has given us. The other day I was telling Becca that she is a present from God to Daddy and Mommy. She wasn’t too sure about that . . . but I think she understood a little.

Before we were allowed to take Becca home, we had to “room-in” for a night at the hospital to make sure we (and Becca) would be comfortable having her at home. I’ve never taken the time to record what that night was like and decided today is a good time to do so.

Leading up to that day, we didn’t know what day Becca would be coming home. The NICU nurses told us it was getting close and to expect a phone call one day saying, “tonight is the night.” I was teaching school on 2/9/10 when Josh left a message that it was the night. I rushed home from school and then we ran some errands and waited for the call to come. We had to wait for the man who was going to train us on Becca’s take-home monitor. We waited and waited and didn’t get the call until after supper.

When we arrived at the hospital they took us to our room and we were instructed on how to operate Becca’s heart/breathing monitor and on the various medications she needed. They brought up Becca from the NICU to our room, and then we were set for the night. I hardly slept the entire night. Between sharing a hospital bed with Josh, getting up to feed Becca, pumping, waking up to be ready for the nurse to bring the medications, and Becca’s alarm going off (the leads were loose) – I don’t think I slept at all. In the morning, Dr. C came in bright and early to check-up on Becca. Josh’s memory of that is still being in bed (sitting up), wearing his shorts and t-shirt, [my hair sticking up! -jj] and Dr. C coming over and hugging him goodbye. We were able to leave the hospital after lunch, once we saw the Occupational Therapist.

We arrived home happy to have our little girl and exhausted. Josh had to go to class that night and I remember watching him leave with tears coming down my face because I couldn’t get Becca to eat (really important for a preemie!). The next morning we had snow, the power went out, and I was wondering how long Becca’s monitor battery would last and where I would go to pump. But we were one happy family to be all together at last. (One interesting thing to note is the outfit we brought Becca home in – we purchased it the day before. It had panda bears on it.)

Happy 2 years home, Becca Bear! We’ve enjoyed having you with us every day. Two nights ago you woke me up at 4AM – “Mama Mama!” – and asked to be held. I held you and remembered about the many times I wanted to hold you at night but couldn’t because you were in the hospital. Thank you for being God’s precious present to us.

One of my goals as a mommy is to make our home rich with traditions and memories – whether those “traditions” end up sticking or are just around for a few years. This year we had our first Ground Hog Day celebration. Becca and I made ground hog puppets in the morning. We also got the pieces ready for Josh to make one in the evening. We had a special snack in Becca’s room (we usually have our snacks at our kitchen table). In the evening, we had a Ground Hog Day puppet show. All three ground hogs had a great time. They even got to take an airplane ride!

(Note – if anyone ever finds good deals on random craft supplies (paper, eyes, pipe cleaners, pompom balls, etc) or if you want to get rid of random supplies, please let me know. I’m always scrounging around for items to make crafts with.)

“It’s Mommy’s fault.” I’ve learned this is a good phrase to remind myself during times I’m frustrating with Becca’s behavior. We were out shopping last weekend and Becca wanted to run around the store and play hide from Mommy. I was not in the mood to be running around clothes racks and just wanted to look and leave. I was frustrated with Becca that she didn’t just “Stay next to Mommy.” But I had to remind myself that Becca hasn’t had much training with behavior in non-grocery stores (at our grocery stores we do run around the aisles – small, non-busy stores). If I’m frustrated with Becca because of that – I need to go home and teach her my expectations. Just a good reminder for Mommy when she’s tempted to think, “why can’t my little girl just stay next to me!”

Here’s a picture of Little Brother at 22 weeks (Feb. 2, 2012). In the pictures on the right you can compare Little Brother’s “size” to Becca’s “size” around the same gestational age.

Funny Things from Becca:

Mommy: “Becca, are you sleepy?” Becca: “I not sleepy – Sleepy in a book!” (Snow White).

Becca: “Mama come back – don’t run away!”  I had simply gone into my room to get some socks.

Mommy: “Those pants are too small for you.” Becca: “Pants not too small for me…I think pants too big for me.”  She found out differently when she tried to put them on.

Becca loves going into her room, shutting the door, and then having me come knock on her door and visit her: “Mama – come knock on door!” The other day I came to her “house” for a visit and then told her I had to go finish making breakfast. Becca: “Mama – don’t go back to your house!”

Becca: “I tiny – Mommy little.”

When making breakfast bars for church I told Becca not to eat too much batter: Mommy: “It’s bad for you.” Becca: “It’s not bad for you – it’s yummy for you.”

A conversation with Becca when she should have been in bed but instead insisted she had to go potty: Mommy: “I think you’re all done.” Becca: “I make stinky mess.” Mommy: “You already made a stinky mess today.” Becca: “Stinky mess stuck in bottom – I get out.” Mommy: “Becca – you already had a stinky mess today.” Becca: “Becca make stinky mess in bed – Mommy not really happy…Becca make stinky mess in potty – Mommy REALLY happy.”  I was finally able to convince her there was no stinky mess coming (sometimes Mommys just know) and then she went off to bed!

One other point of interest: It takes Becca almost an hour to fall asleep after we put her to bed. She is good about staying in her bed and calling if she needs anything. She usually just talks with her “friends” and sings until she falls asleep. We’re tried keeping her up later and it doesn’t seem to matter much.

Sunday night Becca transitioned into a toddler bed. I’ve been delaying the transition due to timing, problems she’s been having sleeping through the night, and the fact that I’m never anxious to move Becca to the next step of growing up. It just so happens that the day Josh decided to put the bed together was also the day that Becca took a nap from 2:30-5:15 (very unusual). We’ve taught Becca to stay in her pack-n-play, so she understood staying in her bed. However, the excitement of a new bed and her extra rest resulted in Becca’s happy chatter in bed until 10PM. She’s done this before in her pack-n-play, but without us wondering if her little face was going to appear any moment. Around 4AM I heard a noise and then little feet running across our bedroom carpet. Then there was Becca next to my head (accompanied by Flopsie and Naaman) asking to come in Mama’s bed. I couldn’t resist the sweet little girl’s request; however, this will not become a common event. Since Sunday Becca has done a super job staying in bed. She still takes forever to fall asleep, is waking up during the night, and getting up wide awake between 6-6:30, but besides that, all is going well.

Next door to our apartment complex there is a community garden, where people can rent plots for a year. We’ve been able to get a plot (4×20′) and are planning to start our little garden. Our idea is to focus on growing produce that is more expensive to buy. This past weekend, Josh replaced the sandy soil with very nice compost. Becca enjoys being in the garden and we’ve been able to meet many other gardeners.

And a quick overview of the week: Friday night we had the Hsu family (piano students) over for a meal. The next day was normal Saturday morning piano teaching, and Josh worked in the garden in the afternoon. That evening Josh took me out to buy me headphones for my piano – so I can play when Becca is sleeping! Sunday – church and garden work. Monday Becca and I had Anna over for lunch. Tuesday Becca and I spent the day with Yani and Amaris; we were out from 9:30AM to 6PM. We went to the Dallas Arboretum, and the weather ended up being beautiful. Wednesday Becca and I went on our weekly library trip and I taught piano lessons. And Josh – well he goes to school every morning to work on his dissertation and do department work.

Here’s my belated record of some of the special presents we exchanged at Christmas. Josh complied two very nice song text books for our family. The Jensen Family Hymns 2010-2012 contains all the texts of the hymns we’ve memorized and plan to memorize this year. Josh got two copies – one hardback and one paperback. The paperback is very nice for using on Sundays on our way to church when we need some help with the words. Sing Ye Merry is the same idea but with Christmas texts [and a weird title -jj]. It was a really sweet gift that we’re enjoying. My other really special gift was an ornament in memory of the little one we lost last year. Mrs. Millard gave us one for Becca the Christmas she was born and for a long time I’ve wanted one to commemorate our little one. The gift was totally unexpected and resulted in instant tears. My special gift to Josh is a calendar with family pictures. I then take the calendar and write Josh a special love message to read each night of the year. It takes me a while to write all the messages . . . last year (with dissertations deadlines, etc) I didn’t finished the writing until June.