“Being a mommy is hard work,” Becca told me as she nursed one baby while bottle feeding another (picture on left). I laughed. Yes, being a mommy is hard work. Mommy-hood comes with tons of joys – loads of laughter, craziness, playing, singing, dancing, learning – moments of pure joy. But it’s hard work. I have lots of “loser-mommy” days; days when I feel like I should have “Loser Mommy” tattooed on my forehead. (I don’t post pictures from those days . . . yes, our cute kids cry, but taking pictures on those days is one of the farthest things from my mind.)

I’m finding the hardest thing about being a mommy is myself. I am a sinner – an impatient, prideful, selfish sinner. I’m a sinner saved by grace trying to teach a little sinner how to love and obey God when I’m struggling to do those things for myself. I told Josh the other night. “I have enough [sin] problems to deal without having to deal with Becca’s.”

Being a mommy of a 3-year-old means I’m always putting the Bible into simple terms. We talk about loving and obeying Jesus. Sounds simple, but have you ever consciously tried to love and obey Jesus all day long in word, thought, and deed? The more I talk to Becca about her need to have Jesus rescue her from her sin the more I am aware of my need for Christ’s forgiveness on a daily basis. Now at breakfast I pray that Mommy will love and obey Jesus.

Yes, Becca . . . being a mommy is hard work because I am a sinner struggling against my old nature while trying to serve my family. I’m far from being a super-mom. I am a mommy who desperately needs Jesus every day to fulfill the role He’s called me to. Lord willing we’ll both learn to obey Jesus and love Him more than anything.

This year we had our 5th annual MLK Day traditional getaway at the Country Inn & Suites north of the DFW airport. Our two criteria were a heated indoor pool for Becca and complimentary breakfast. We all had a lovely time and it was a nice break after Josh’s long days of writing.

Thanks to everyone who prayed about Josh’s dissertation deadline. Last week he completed a rough draft, and since then he has been editing and revising. Monday evening he submitted the draft to his committee. Soon they’ll decide whether Josh can defend this semester, and hopefully they’ll send their revision comments by mid to late February.

January 10th Becca had a follow-up MIBG and MRI to check for any traces of cancer. Becca did great with the MIBG injection the day before the procedure. She also woke up from the procedures in a pretty good mood. We found out last week that Becca continues to be cancer free. We continue to thank God for His care and healing of our little girl. Becca’s next MRI will be in April.

The Sunday after we arrived back from PA we drove to Keller, TX, for a few days of house-sitting. Becca loves being at the Woods’ home – she always requests that we watch Snow White there. Josh was able to have “office” space to work on his dissertation while Becca and I enjoyed having the use of a washer and dryer.

New Year’s Eve Becca and I put together her gingerbread house. She did a great job decorating it. (Though Josh nearly ate all the decorating candy: photo at left.) Afterwards we had popcorn and played with the train set. (Thank you Uncle Joey for the Christmas pj’s!)

Looking back, 2012 was an adventurous year for us. I spent the first few months of the year wondering whether Isaiah was going to follow in his sister’s footsteps or if he was going to be a full term baby. Right about the time we were adjusting to Isaiah, we found out about Becca’s tumor. This pretty much sums up our year. . . pregnancy, Isaiah’s birth, and Becca’s tumor, along with Josh’s dissertation progress.

This new year holds a lot of exciting changes for us. Lord willing, Josh will complete his degree this semester. We plan to move to SC sometime in June, after which we will start deputation for Cambodia. CPBC has graciously allowed us to live in their mission house starting in July. It will be a year of change and adjustment and we appreciate your prayers for us.

I’m also wondering what “unplanned” events the Lord has in store for us this year. Looking back over our first 4 years of marriage it seems like each year God has allowed some big unexpected event: 2009 – Becca’s premature birth; 2010 – Miscarriage; 2011 – pursuing a domestic adoption which ended up falling through; and 2012 – Becca’s tumor. I’m not sure what God has in store for us this year, but I do know that He is a faithful and unchanging God. I know He will continue to work His will in our lives and will continue to purge our dross in His refining fire. Our prayer is that He will continue to work in us for His glory and that we will grow in our faith and that He will help us in our unbelief.

Books Read in 2012
(all links are Amazon affiliate links: if you click and buy, we get a small percentage of the sale, at no extra cost to you; be aware that some of these books are available for free in digital form: Chesterton, Monte Cristo, and Piper in particular)

Books read together: The Dragon’s Tooth: Ashtown Burials #1; Sense and Sensibility; Shepherding a Child’s Heart; Leepike Ridge; One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich; The Count of Monte Cristo (Abridged Edition); The Drowned Vault: Ashtown Burials #2; & Manalive.

Books Josh read (not counting all his school reading): The Mind Doesn’t Work That Way; The Ambition: A Novel; Think: The Life of the Mind and the Love of God; The Resolution for Men; Future Men: Raising Boys to Fight Giants; Jesus Among Other Gods: The Absolute Claims of the Christian Message; Men Made New: An Exposition of Romans 5-8; A Short Life of Jonathan Edwards; The Code of the Woosters; Eugenics and Other Evils; 1 & 2 Kings (Brazos Theological Commentary on the Bible);  Black & Tan: A Collection of Essays and Excursions on Slavery, Culture War, and Scripture in America; Missionary Patriarch: The True Story of John G. Paton; & The Future of Justification: A Response to N. T. Wright.

Books Amy read: Scandalous: The Cross and Resurrection of Jesus; The Resolution for Women; Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches; Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus; Don’t Make Me Count to Three; & Building Her House: Commonsensical Wisdom for Christian Women.

Hymns Memorized in 2012

Chosen as His Children; Before the Throne of God Above; Behold Our God; Come Thou Almighty King; His Robes for Mine; Holy, Holy, Holy; Immortal, Invisible, God Only Wise; O God, Our Help in Ages Past; O Worship the King; & This is My Father’s World

We had a white Christmas in PA. It started snowing Christmas Eve. Christmas morning the first thing I did was take Becca out to play in the snow, since I was afraid it would melt by the afternoon. We had a great time making a snowman and having a snowball fight. When Becca got cold, Josh came out and built two more snow-people with me. It was a lovely way to start Christmas Day, and yes, the snow melted by the afternoon.

We started the family Christmas festivities by getting the picture-taking out of the way. Both kids and adults survived the ordeal.

After picture-taking, we began the Sutter Family Christmas morning (or should I say almost afternoon…it takes a while for 18 people to get ready in the morning) traditions: 1) Cinnamon rolls and carol singing – this year we had piano and trumpets accompanying our singing; 2)Reading the Christmas story with flannel graph – it is fun to see the grandchildren do the flannel graph; 3) Gift exchange – we are each assigned one family member to buy gifts for; 4) Omelets made by Sam – I think he’s been doing this since he turned 12; 5) Rest – naps, reading, games; and 6) Dinner. This year Uncle Joey ended the day with giving all his nieces and his nephew Christmas pj’s.

Our flight home on Thursday was cancelled, so we had an extra day in PA. Mom took the remaining families (us and Sam-Ashley-Colette, plus Emily and a friend) to the Whittaker Center in Harrisburg. The little girls enjoyed all the activities.

One funny story from Christmas – we bought my dad some pistachios for Christmas. After my dad opened them up, he and Becca spent the next several minutes eating them…and then the next several evenings eating them. Pretty sure Becca ate most of the pistachios — and perhaps even more than we gave Dad for Christmas!

Left-to-right, by family: Emily; Colette (19 months), Ashley & Sam; Amy, Josh, Isaiah & Becca; Dad & Mom, Jon, Ashleigh & Megan (6 months); Dan & Isabelle; Joey & Lauren (girlfriend).

This Christmas we gathered in Dover, PA, for a Sutter Family reunion – the first time we’ve all been together in two years. Josh and I (and the kids) arrived the Wednesday before Christmas. My parents had a little birthday party for Becca to welcome us. We had to have the party twice since Becca fell asleep at her “first” party.

Thursday we drove to NJ to visit Grandma Sutter’s. It was Isaiah’s first time to meet his Great Grandma Sutter and Great Uncle Johnny.

My brother Jon and his family arrived from SC Friday evening. Jon’s & Ashleigh’s daughter, Megan, is 3 weeks younger than Isaiah.

Sunday evening we went to Rocky Ridge park and saw lights and Santa Clause. It was freezing cold. Becca was so excited to see Santa that she was speechless when she finally sat on his lap. Dan & Isabelle arrived Sunday evening.

Christmas Eve we celebrated my dad’s birthday – he was born on Christmas Day, but we usually celebrate on Christmas Eve. My brother Sam and his family arrived late Christmas Eve.

One of the highlights of Becca’s trip was playing the trumpet with Grandpa. My dad has started practicing the trumpet every night. He had a cornet for Becca to play with him and she loved playing every night before bed with him. She also got to play his drums and harmonica.

We enjoyed our time with my family. I enjoyed getting to know my sisters-in-law a little more . . . not sure how my brothers got themselves such nice wives. We’re very thankful to my parents and Emily for all the cleaning they did before and after — it takes a lot of work to have 14 extra people invade your home! We’re also thankful for all the food, heat, and hot water . . . as we know the water/electric/food bills are greatly increased for the month of December.

A very happy 7-month birthday to our adorable little man! Isaiah continues to be one very happy, smiley boy. He enjoys sitting up, watching and playing with his big sister, eating sweet potatoes, and laughing. He’s doing an amazing job using the potty, and I’m enjoying the lack of messy diapers to clean up after.

This Christmas Isaiah met a lot of Sutter family members for the first time. He, of course, charmed them all this his sweet smiles.