This afternoon we have an appointment with Becca’s oncologist to hear the results from last week’s mIBG scan. We will also hear if the MRI revealed anything suspicious in her pelvis area. This is only the first half of tests concerning the possible spread of cancer. We have to wait until after the surgery for the bone marrow and tumor analysis. We expect to hear boring news. We expect that everything will be just fine. We expect as we’ve been told that tomorrow’s surgery will take care of everything and that life will soon go back to normal.  But we also know that we could receive bad news. We wonder how we would respond to bad news.

So far (besides the initial news of the tumor) all our news about Becca’s tumor has been encouraging. We are so thankful that Becca’s tumor was caught this early in the game. Everything has been going so smoothly with Becca’s tests and the speed at which she is being treated. When I think of all the “what if’s” that could have happened if they hadn’t discovered the tumor this early, I can only be grateful that the Lord allowed the doctor to find her tumor. When we walk in the hospital and see children who are being treated for cancer I find myself praising the Lord for His mercy to our family. Thoughts of “why did the Lord allow this to happen” are far from our minds when we’re so grateful that the tumor has been caught and that things are going so well.

I’m reading a study by Nancy Leigh DeMoss called The Power and Practice of Praise. In one lesson she says a test of praise is “Will I praise Him when I don’t get the outcome that I wanted? Anybody can praise Him when the outcome is as we had hoped, but the challenge is: Will I offer the sacrifice of praise when it costs me something?” If today or in the weeks to come we find out bad news concerning Becca’s cancer will I still be able to praise the Lord? If I have to watch Becca suffer through cancer treatments . . . if we lose her . . . will I still be able to praise the Lord? This would not be easy and would be a battle I would have to fight. Could I have the spirit of Job and say “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord”? I don’t really want to find out.

In another study I’m reading by DeMoss she discusses Ezekiel 37:4 and Ezekiel’s response to the valley of dead bones: “But Ezekiel wisely says in verse 4, “O Lord God, you know.” You know. What does he mean by that? Well, he may mean, “Lord, You know that these bones can’t live.” Or maybe he means, “Lord, only You know what You can do with these dry bones.”  I don’t know what God is going to do or what He has planned for our family. We’ve taught Becca the catechism questions/answers: “Who made you? God made me. What else did God make? God made all things. Why did God make you and all things? For His own glory.” I’ve been thinking lately: how is God going to get the most glory out of our situation? Will it be by healing Becca . . . by having this be the simple thing of removing the tumor. That would bring Him glory – many, many people are praying and all will praise God for His healing. Or is God planning to bring glory to Him by allowing Becca to have a cancer that is more serious – by allowing her (and us) to suffer so He can show Himself to our unsaved neighbors. What would be more meaningful to them: would they perhaps be more drawn to God by seeing (Lord willing) our faith in God as we go through something like that? Becca’s tumor getting caught early and being removed would just be considered lucky to our unsaved friends. Watching us deal with something more serious could be what draws them to Christ. In my heart I say, “please, Lord – no.” However,  this thought has come to me often over the past week. So I pray, “O Lord God – you know.”

We expect to hear completely positive news concerning Becca today and for the next few weeks. However, we know that God works in ways we do not understand and we must be ready to trust Him no matter what the outcome is.

Becca did well with her MRI and mIBG scan last Friday. We had a good time playing until they were ready to put her to sleep. I had to wait two and a half hours while she had the scans done. When they called me to see Becca, she was quite grumpy and it took a while for her to even take a sip of water. Once she got home, she was her happy energetic self. So much for having her take it easy after the anesthesia! We were able to bring home Becca’s mask – which she now loves to use to put Flopsie to sleep (and sometimes Mommy). She’s been giving Flopsie surgery almost every day to remove the “bad bump” in his body.