Slides. Several weeks ago, the thought of going down a tube slide by herself invoked fear in our little girl’s heart. I could not get her to go down them without me, which meant I ended up with bruises and missing skin from trying to have a toddler on my lap and go down a tube slide. I’ll admit it, tube slides are scary. There’s a lot of uncertainty looking down from the top. It’s dark! What if I get hurt? What if I flip over? What if . . . Poor Becca couldn’t see the end from the top where she stood . . . it was just a dark tunnel of uncertainty that made her afraid to do anything except sit up at the top and run the opposite direction whenever Mommy called for her to come down. Becca didn’t realize that Mommy was waiting for her at the end of the slide. She didn’t realize that I was climbing halfway up the slide to help her come down. She was afraid.
This week, something changed. Becca went down the tube slides all by herself over and over and over again. She loved it. She came down head-first and then transitioned to feet-first on her tummy. She now loves slides. We went to the water play park for the last time last week (the water shuts off on Labor Day) and Becca wasn’t overly interested in getting wet – she wanted to slide. She knows Mommy is at the end of the slide. She knows now that sometimes Mommy meets her halfway up the slide to help her come down.
When asked, “If you could parent your daughters all over again, what would you do differently?” Carolyn Mahaney answered, “I wish I had trusted God more.” She writes, “For every fearful peek into the future, I wish I had looked to Christ instead. For each imaginary trouble conjured up, I wish I had recalled the specific, unfailing faithfulness of God. In place of dismay and dread, I wish I had exhibited hope and joy. I wish I had approached mothering like the preacher Charles Spurgeon approached his job: ‘forecasting victory, not foreboding defeat” (Girl Talk
Motherhood for me can be like standing up at the top of a tube slide. There’s so much uncertainty – there’s so many “what if’s.” After Becca’s premature birth and then even more so after our miscarriage, I struggled with fear. What if something happens to Becca? What if she falls down the stairs when we’re visiting our parents? What if we lose another baby? What if something happens to Josh? Carolyn Mahaney’s words are a reminder to me that I can be just like a little one at the top of the slide. It’s dark. I don’t know what the end is like. But God is there. He knows all about the slide – the turns, the speed, the ending. He’ll even climb up halfway to help me come down. When I trust that my heavenly Father knows all about what each slide holds for me, the fears of motherhood give way to joy in Christ. Trusting God is far better than living in fear and in the “what if’s.” It makes sliding something I want to do “again and again.”
Another thing Becca is really enjoying is tents. She loves being in our homemade tents. We build her tents all over the place. Josh makes her a special one in our bedroom – in the dark – and they use the electric lantern. It’s really fun to hear them play together. The tents usually end up pretty crowded, as Becca likes to bring in her animal friends.
This week at the park, there was a stray duck on the basketball courts. I’m not sure who enjoyed the Cheerios more, Becca or the duck!
